Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Thank you, Mario!

But our prince is in another castle!

Prince Charming Doesn't Live Here -- Christine Warren

How do I gravity?

Are they riding a buffalo? A wooly mammoth? No, wait. They're riding Mr. Snuffleupagus. (Which sounds pretty dirty, come to think of it.) Snuffy better get a move on, because they're about to get eaten by rabid wolves.

When Love Commands -- Jennifer Wilde

Don't look now, but I think it's watching us.

I said don't look! Oh, great. It's spotted us. Wave! Just wave and say "hi" and let's get out of here before it starts showing us pictures of its grandkids!

Midnight Moon -- Lori Handeland

Peadar & the Wolf

He soon got an adorable little purse to carry him in.

Dark Highland Fire -- Kendra Leigh Castle

If anyone needs me...

I'll be in the clock tower.

Zombie Moon -- Lori Devoti

Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink...

I think there's something watching us.

From The Mists of Wolf Creek -- Rebecca Brandewyne

P.S. Yeah, we know we did a "Blink" caption before, but we love that Dr. Who episode.

Your pooch will go from romantic outsider to ménage à canines.

So enroll your dog in Herrmerrn's School of French Kissing for Dogs. And then fucking get in there!

Under Montana Skies --Darlene Graham

Goodnight Moon ...Good night man and wolf under the moon

...Goodnight clouds ...Goodnight air ...Goodnight wolves baying everywhere.

Ow-ow-owooooooo!

...And goodnight to the old lady yelling "shut the hell up!"

Shadow of the Moon -- Rebecca York

For the loneliest Rogue on the planet, a captive breeding program may be his only hope.

Recent success stories include the Diamondback Devil, Snow Scoundrel, Ruffed Rascal, and the Wolf.

In order to survive once released, the Rogue must be taught basic survival skills. He must learn how to attract a mate and find food and adequate shelter. This can usually be accomplished by locating and latching onto a Sugar Mama. Fortunately there is an ample supply of willing and witless wenches.

The Last Rogue -- Connie Mason

The following takes place between 2:34 PM and 3:04 PM. Or maybe it's AM. Whichever one is the morning one; it's not that one.

Chloe, find out all you can about Uncle Walter. Does somebody know Uncle Walter? I need to get an Uncle Walter bumper sticker!

One Eye Closed -- Karen Whiddon