Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Just because you're in Wisconsin doesn't mean everything is cheese.

The baby's head is not cheese.

Put the grater away.

Wait. Who's holding the grater?

Baby Makes Three -- Sharon De Vita

She's gonna swallow his sword.

That's not a euphemism. Look at that neck.

When Love Awaits -- Johanna Lindsey

He is totally all about keeping her safe.

So long as it, you know, doesn't involve any sort of actual effort or safety devices.

Good luck with that traumatic brain injury, little lambchop.

Keeping Her Safe -- Sherry Lewis

This is like that movie, about the Mr. and the Mrs. whose name was Smith.

A quick headlock and a champagne bottle across the skull. 

Unwedded Bliss -- Katherine Granger

It's clear from his hairstyle that he lives on the edge. The edge of good taste.

One more bad haircut away from being pushed off.

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Wild Like the Wind -- Janice Kaiser

Yes, as a matter of fact they were raised in a barn.

It's a family reunion. 

The Road to Reunion -- Gina Wilkins

Organically grown, locally sourced.

Chest hair.

What did you think we meant?

Makebelieve Marriage -- Flora Kidd

Try finding his needle in that haystack.

They'll be picking that stuff out of there for weeks.

Shameless -- Kimberly Raye

The eighties met the nineties...

Things were about to get Physical, but he said Nevermind. 

Blueprint for Rapture -- Lenora Barber

Flying No Class in the socially awkward skies...

The security checks aren't so bad. But splinter removal sucks.

Living Dead in Dallas -- Charlaine Harris