Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

I'm fine, really. I don't think you need to take my temperature again.

Can't you at least use one of those forehead thermometers this time?

Trace of Fever -- Lori Foster

I'm gonna be the best dad! Just like Odin!

By stealing a baby. Then raising that baby as my own. And making him believe he could be king so that he goes crazy with jealousy and becomes the life long enemy of our first born! Sounds like a plan!

Bundle of Trouble -- Elle James

"Motorboat!" he yelled, diving in.

About two seconds before she lost all interest and went to get a brownie instead. Yeah, sometimes it's just not worth it.

Sweet as the Devil -- Susan Johnson

You missed a spot. Well, not a spot. More like a leg. Okay, yeah, you missed a leg.

And really, are shoulders meant to do that? Or are we into straight up dismemberment now? Is that what we're doing? Is that our new thing?

Wyoming Wildcat -- Myrna Temte

Remember, no ding ding without the wedding ring!

Sleep well on our comfy Wedded Bliss Mattress. This Stearns and Foster mattress offers the firm support of a strong coil system for extra thrusting and super absorbent foam, should she be as pure as advertised.

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The Marriage Bed -- Laura Lee Guhrke

Recommended by pseudo-athletes

And pseudo-Indians, too.

Now he just needs a nose-hair trimmer.

To Tame a Savage -- Georgia Gentry

From the day she was gone all he wanted...

Was rock and roll porn and a motorbike.

Love and a Blue-Eyed Cowboy -- Sandra Chastain

I really love the... skillful way you beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet

Totally cleared out the place. Now let's get some sushi.

Suddenly a Bride -- Kasey Michaels

We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

The influence Wayne's World has had on the greater culture cannot be denied.

Mystic Visions -- Rosanne Billner

Big Man in a suit. Take that off, what are you?

High school graduate-millionaire-construction worker-Avengers fanboy.

More Than a Millionaire -- Emilie Rose