Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Got Milk?

Out of a glass or straight from the source, it does a body good.

Fairy Dust -- Tielle St. Clare

He may be all business coming, but he always leaves a party in his wake.

Storms rage around him, but nothing dares to touch that mullet.

Force of the Falcon -- Rita Herron

He was the straight one.

Their son they named "Askew". They were a tightly-woven family.

The Bending Reed -- Elizabeth Dawson

Yes. Yes you are. Thank you, Miss "State the Obvious".

Next time, how about just using a stethescope, hmm?

Close to the Heart -- Rebecca Stratton

The Further Adventures of Denim Man!

In his guise of mild mannered Denim Dude, our hero heads to the snowy peaks of Montana to find his own "Lois Lamé". Will his cotton-twill textile heart find love? Or will the relationship come apart at the seams?

To Lasso a Lady -- Renee Roszel

Oh, no! Look what you've done! You've gone and lost your baby daddy again!

Now what do you do? You come on down to Angry Jack's Baby Daddy Emporium! I'm so angry about my massive inventory that I'm slashing prices like crazy! $99.99 to buy this refurbished baby daddy, and I'm angry about it! Or what about this one? Brand new linen shirt, super-gloss head of hair, only $39.99! Did I mention I'm angry!? Once gone, gone for good, so I'm gonna sell-sell-sell all these baby dad-dad-daddys! So come on down to Angry Jack's now!

Temporary Father -- Barbara McMahon

Sorry, kid, but you didn't make the cut

Don't look at me like that. What did you think was going to happen? You crawled through the entire obstacle course, you used your AK-47 as a chew toy, and you peed on your Drill Seargent!

Baby Bootcamp -- Mallory Kane

Good, good, young Heimlich! You're learning very fast.

Are you ready to face your deepest fear?

She's choking!

...That maneuver is the key to your greatness...

Passion's Betrayal -- Penelope Neri

It's a unique and logic defying amalgam of snow... and pain.

I call it "Sn'ain."

Addie and the Renegade -- Dallas Schulze

Took us six months to train this guy to row this dinghy.

Such a simple thing, rowing.

But it was worth it. Because we still like the word "dinghy" -- and now we don't have to get our feet wet on our way to the BIG BOAT!

The Captain of All Pleasures -- Kresley Cole