Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Why didn't I stop to use the bathroom at the last McDonald's we passed?

Damn my IBS... And my fear of clowns!

Desert Sunrise -- Raine Cantrell

Romance Novel Cover Models: Where are they now?

Woman in tiny "bathing suit" then:

Woman in tiny "bathing suit" now:

Some things you just can't un-see.

Diary of a Nympho The Step Mom -- Kelly Haven

I believe that social convention dictates that a kiss is in order

But please, no tongue this time or she'll scratch you with those super-sharp baby nails.

Baby Under the Mistletoe -- Jamie Sobrato

Q-tip® brand nipple swabs

The all natural way to clean or scratch the ear canal and/or to remove earwax.

Swept Away -- Linda Warren

Try your luck, he said. Shoot out the star, he said. Three tries for a dollar, he said.

Didn't tell me I wouldn't get to choose the prize. What the hell am I supposed to do with this damn woman?

Shotgun Bride -- B.J. Daniels

Finally! The brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people!

Unfortunately it takes a while for the cranial screw-top brain entry to heal.

Ironheart -- Rachel Lee

Despite the fact that Sauder hired the most skilled structural engineers in furniture design...

...the tensile strength of the MDF was rated for mild thrusting and was thus unable to compensate for their exuberance. Both subjects awoke on the floor, surrounded by sawdust and shame.

Dr. Desirable -- Kristi Gold

I met him at the candy store. He turned around and smiled at me. You get the picture?

It's an old story: Boy meets girl. Boy dates girl. Boy dresses like a douche. Girl's parents don't like him. Boy commits suicide by motorcycle.

It must be true love!

Reader submission by Tallahassee East/Monticello KOA
Uncle Walter has verified ownership of this book.

Leader of the Pack -- Catherine George

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a heart for some money.

He's going to take it out "lip"aroscopically. Through her shoulder.

Dawn's Desire -- Carol Finch

Mrs. Harris, please come in here. We have a small problem.

I asked for the three year old file.

Now can you get this... thing... out of here?

The Boss and the Baby -- Leigh Michaels