Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

If the sale seems too good to be true, it's because it is.

The mattresses are factory sloppy seconds.

Just For The Night -- Tawny Weber

"He will take what is his..."

Like his bowstring! He really needed to get that back.

Highland Outlaw -- Monica McCarty

This is the last time we're going to interfere in one of your fights!

Next time? Next time it's a cage match to the death!

Dream Chasers -- Anne McAllister

No scissors, no glue, no mess! Nothing but fun.

Colorforms Romance Novel Cover Model sets are more fun than anything!

Chasing Dreams -- Jaclyn Reding

Damn government bureaucracy

You need to fill out this form in triplicate and have it signed by a notary.

If you think this is bad, you should see the paperwork for sex!

A Kiss For Julie -- Betty Neels

The true meeaning of Alvistime is drinking. Drinking and revenge.

 
Due to an outbreak of syphilis among the soldiers, the hospital was full. And so there, in the stable among the feed and tack and whatsits, gave birth to a son whom she called Alvis, as was her wont. And since none of the men in the party were the father, it was decided among them that the birth of this child must truly be a miracle. And it was so, for above the fort there suddenly and miraculously appeared an awesome and mighty comet. So brilliant was its light that there came, from all the tribes which the soldiers had not yet decimated, Shamans. And they rode upon buffalo as was their heathen custom, bearing gifts, offerings of whiskey and firearms.

Baby By Midnight -- Karen Toller Whittenburg

Episode 21 - Feast of Alvis from Jasmine H on Vimeo.

Don't skimp on the milk and cookies!

 

Santa's a hungry fellow. Leave him too little and he'll find something else to fill his belly. He's been told the baby is "good" this year...

Just for Christmas -- Stella Bagwell

So, there I was... knee-deep in Charlie guts...

...causing me to throw a murderous temper tantrum so monumentally destructive no amount of time-out could clean the blood from my hands, unless it involved a 4-by-4 concrete cell and a bucket in which to defecate.

Soldier Caged -- Rebecca York

Sure Oklahoma allows pregnant kids or kids who have already had a child to get married without parental consent.

But how the hell could he even get it up?

Hook, Line and Shotgun Bride -- Cassie Miles

Oooo! I didn't know we had any chocol...

...

That's not chocolate, is it?

Her Sexiest Surprise -- Dawn Atkins