Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

On June 7th, 2011, a date that will live in infamy, the Argonauts were suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of a rogue lighthouse

The race of Argonauts appeared to have been destroyed. But a single baby, the last of his kind, survived, to be raised in secret, only to learn of his heritage when he comes of age.

Motive: Secret Baby -- Debra Webb

You don't just call the police in a third world country and tell them you found eight human heads in your luggage.

They have no laws here. They'll turn me into a taco!

The Hiding Place -- Margot Dalton

Vestibulumophobia - The fear that a bottomless man will emerge from a gong wielding an axe

Vestibulumlorumophobia - The fear that a man with a tiny crotch flap will emerge from a gong wielding an axe.

Patruuswalterophobia - Fear that Uncle Walter will feature your book on Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers.

Cheyenne Song -- Georgina Gentry

He lasted 12 seconds this time! Broke his record!

Now if he can just hang on for that long riding the bull...

The Cowboy Hires a Wife -- Jenna McKnight

After that he moved to California, changed his name to Charlie and started recruiting them older.

They had an unfortunate habit of chewing on the speakerphone wire and Bosley didn't realize they were teething.

Archer's Angels -- Tina Leonard

Listen kid, I don't care if you are the fruit of my loins...

If you hit me with that damn hammer one more time I'm gonna shove it so far up your ass you'll be pounding nails with your face.

A Rugged Ranchin' Dad -- Kia Cochrane

Hey! Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?

  (Link) View more Jim Carrey Sound Clips and Dumb & Dumber Sound Clips

Designed to Annoy -- Elizabeth Oldfield

Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Ensign Vicki are beaming down to the planet...

Guess who's not coming back?

The Power of Two -- Patti O'Shea

No ma'am, sorry, this isn't a proposal. It's a warrant.

I won't stop you from enjoying the handcuffs, though.

The Seduction of Roxanne -- Linda Jones

Geez, man! What the hell did you eat?! Did something die up there???

 

Aw, come on! You're even leaning! Don't look at me like that -- it's bad. There are vultures circling, for God's sake!

Restless Wind -- Aimee Thurlo