Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?

...You ever seen a grown man naked?

...Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

The Gladiator -- Carla Capshaw

I know but this guy has no flying experience at all. He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air...

Yes, birds too.

Her Prince's Secret Son -- Linda Goodnight

It's America's Favorite DNA Based Game Show!

It's sort of like "Running Man." But with less death and more chickens.

Which Child is Mine? -- Karen Rose Smith

Team photo from Christian Vampire Transvestite Prostitute Community Service Day

Given the low turn out, next year they might want to broaden that niche a little. Heh.

Taken by the Others -- Jess Haines

Nothing is more erotic than a little ProDos in the morning.

It's a 65C02 128K Romance... with a 5.25" floppy?

Dear Deborah -- Judy Christenberry

"Handyman Wanted to Fulfill Fantasy -- Please Send Picture of Tool."

Upon arrival she handed him a list and a hatchet/hammer combo. Apparently her "fantasy" really was just getting those damned repairs done.

Under Apache Skies -- Madeline Baker

It takes a brave man to wear a cut-down-to-there pleather mini-tunic.

A brave man with an itty-bitty package.

The Very Virile Viking -- Sandra Hill

3.14159265358979323846, Y'all

QED, Kemo Sabe.

Cowboy PI -- Jean Barrett

...Alarmingly high fatality... All localized… incubation period short...

Yep. It's officially an epidemic.

The Warrior -- Heather Grothaus

See that? That is an ugly chair.

Conveniently located in your local dollar store. Right next to "Chicken Soup for the Soul" and "Sudoku." And coloring books. So it's easy for your kids to find.

The Road to Depravity -- Ray Gordon