Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

They're ignoring me. I can't believe they are ignoring me.

Everyone's ignoring me.

I'm Matthew Fucking McConaughey! People don't ignore me! Have you seen me shirtless?!

Heart of the Storm -- Lindsay McKenna

The real reason you don't see many female firefighters

The boob to suspender displacement ratio is just too high.

Taking the Heat -- Kathryn Shay

Fox's new show: Animal Pranks

I

See what happens when you give tigers sunscreen.

At least they didn't write "dork" or paint lewd pictures. And come to think of it, tiger stripes are pretty cool.

Carry on.

Mortal Seductions -- Allyson James

A pedophile's wet-dream

I didn't even know they made "Sexy Angel" costumes in toddler sizes! This seems wrong somehow.

Valentine Babies -- Anne Stuart, Tara Taylor Quinn, Julie McBride

There they were, frolicking by the sea, playing with his sword...

He, in his finest velvet-trimmed jumper, she playing dress-up in her mommy's favorite gown...

...when BLAM! Random wolf.

AWK-ward!

The Vow -- Juliana Garnett

It's got to be around here somewhere...

Oh, God, I hope you're a grow-er and not a show-er, or else this is going to be one very short novel.

Wild Heart -- Lori Brighton

Harvey the power mad "Easter Bunny" was going down

His Easter Day rampage had gone too far.  Plastic grass and randomly scattered eggs would not protect him this time.

Warrior -- Angela Knight

Looking for the Tumblr "Bad Romance Novels"?

If you've come here after searching for the Tumblr "Bad Romance Novels" (or badromancenovels if we want to help the search engines), we're very happy you've visited. See, the vast majority of the quotes posted at that site were actually taken, without permission, from Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes! (The rest were taken from the Bulwer-Lytton Bad Sex in Fiction Awards, with a handful coming from another site -- in other words, absolutely none of the content was original.) Since the Tumblr is now, rightfully, defunct, feel free to follow Uncle Walter directly at Bad Romance Novel Quotes orBad Romance Novel Covers.

P.S. Please note that, as of this time, no other site has Uncle Walter's permission to reprint the content from this blog, outside of news sources, those promoting our blog, or those who are directly crediting our site for the content (such as reblogging or linking). If you stumble upon or otherwise come across a site that is using content from this blog, please let us know.

Um... Honey...? That isn't chocolate. And eggs don't come out of that hole.

At least we'll have an embarrassing video to show your dates when you're grown.

The Toddler's Tale -- Rebecca Winters

The British are cumming! The British are cumming!

General Washington's men proved they were tough.

Those hungry, ragged boys would not be beat... off. At least not without dinner and a movie first.

Wilderness Flame -- Barbara Cummings