Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Eternity's a big commitment.

You're a ghost, I'm an American. It would never work out.

Haunted By Love -- Amber Kaye

This wasn't exactly what the FBI had in mind when they hired her to do some "Domestic Spying."

On the other hand, their safe houses had never been cleaner! And her suburban ghillie suit certainly did blend in well with the drapes.

Rules of Engagement -- Christina Dodd

Damn it! This happens every time I try to slip out to fondle a random frog!

Wham! He turns into a prince.

Do you have any idea how many princes I have laying around?!?!

Seriously, though. Swamp sex? Really? Leeches. In uncomfortable places. Yuck.

Once a Princess -- Johanna Lindsey

Do you know what men think after we have sex?

We think, “How long do I have to stay here and hold her before I can get up and leave? Is 30 seconds enough?” But women! They always want you to stay all night. That's where women have a problem -- somewhere between 30 seconds and all night.

Can I leave now?

Rescue Me -- Cherry Adair, Lora Leigh, Cindy Gerard

I said I wanted a cruise, and Mr. Do it Yourself had to try to get "handy"

Have you seen Titanic?  Yeah, I'm gonna call you Leo now...

Out of the Storm -- Grace Livingston Hill

Now it is time for the matador to dance with the blind shoe-maker!

Aaaaah, Ricky Bobby! Now we shall dance. And yes, it will be a slow jam.

Under His Skin -- Jeanie London

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday, Today is Friday, Friday

Tomorrow is Saturday, And Sunday comes afterwards. I don’t want this weekend to end.

Because on Monday I'm going to be raped by dolphins.

Share My Tomorrow -- Connie Bennett

I shaved my pits for this?

And you, in turn, were supposed to...

"I told you, I'm not shaving the cat!"

Rejar -- Dara Joy

Velcro® Nipples

The latest in Dress Retention technology.

He was suitably impressed.

Tempted by Fire -- Thea Devine

New in the "Shape Shifters from the Short Bus" Series:

Matt Damon!

Don't worry. Even turkeys will close their mouths to keep from drowning. I'm sure he'll figure it out eventually.

Wild Fire -- Christine Feehan