Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Is thy sweet heart now grown so cold, that loving breast of thine?

Cold, yeah, as what is it they say?  A witch's...

Baby, It's Cold Outside -- Cathy Yardley

Congratulations! You have made it with her without "being burned!"

Too bad you're still going to die of dysentery.

Dreams of the Pioneers -- Linda Herring

Don't move! This is a stickup!

Wait a second, that's not a gun! Just what are you pressing into my back?

In Fugitive Arms -- Christine Michels

It's... a plaid... wormhole... in the clouds?

And I thought wormholes only came in paisley.

A Time For Dreams -- Jen Holling

It's called a razor. It's your new best friend.

You know it's time to shave the "pits" when anyone who comes nearby is devoured by the large mammal who has taken up residence there.

Immortals: The Gathering -- Jennifer Ashley

God, if it lasts for an hour, that's all right

We've got all night...

Captive Rose -- Miriam Minger

A Christmas Story

Special thanks to Chris at Stumbling Over Chaos for allowing us to blatently steal her idea.  :)  Read her Misadventures and enjoy!

You don't want to know how many laps he had to sit on before Santa brought him:

All he had to do was:

Under the:

That he could successfully complete:

Leading to:

Which worked out great until he got:

That he was going to be:

His Wanted Woman -- Linda Turner
Believe -- Victoria Alexander
Wolf Moon -- Patricia Rosemoor
A Seduction at Christmas -- Cathy Maxwell
An Affair Before Christmas -- Eloisa James
The Christmas Clue -- Delores Fossen
The Reluctant Daddy -- Helen Conrad

T'was the Night Before Christmas...

And Santa was playing Peeping Tom.  Again.  Unfortunately, he picked the wrong couple to mess with this time, and they sicced the dogs on him...

They weren't quite sure what had happened, but the dog came back with just a hat and smelling of ginger bread.

Yes, Virginia, there really was a Santa Claus.

The Night Before Christmas -- Victoria Alexander, Sandra Hill, Dara Joy, Nelle McFather
Looking For Mr. Claus -- Dawn Stewardson

What did you think Santa did the rest of the year?

Taking advantage of the lack of international law, Santa supplements his non-profit gift-giving with his for-profit trade in human trafficking.  Gotta feed all those elves somehow!

A Husband For Christmas -- Paula Tanner Girard
A Daddy For Christmas -- Pamela Browning, Rebecca Winters, Jule McBride
A Mommy For Christmas -- Cathy Gillen Thacker

When he saw her "seasonal help wanted" ad, this wasn't quite what he had in mind

Especially since she said there would be some "light" touching involved.

Nick of Time -- Elle James