Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Look out! Swamp gas!

Wait... that's not... swamp... oooooh.

Moonbow in the Mist -- Dia Hunter

Planned Parenthood in The Age of Reason

Aborting fetuses since 1634. Or, you know, whenever The Age of Reason was.

Lady Hellfire -- Suzanne Robinson

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!

One: two: why, then, 'tis time to do't.—Hell is murky!—Fie, my lord, fie! a soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account?—Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?

The Stranger -- Elizabeth Lane

The brochure made trapping beaver sound SO easy

But damn if most of 'em weren't already skinned.

Reader submission by J. Long
Uncle Walter cannot verify ownership of submissions, but he'll take your word for it.

Warrior's Embrace -- Betty Brooks

Chain mail body-suit culottes were SO two days ago!

Besides, HE knows how to accessorize!

Midnight Warrior -- Iris Johansen

Not only was this queen jealous, but he could bitch-slap with the best of them

 

And if she didn't give him that fabulous dress, she was in for one hell of a cat fight, girlfriend!

A Woman of Passion -- Virginia Henley

But then it's flat-top, dirty bop, copin' a feel, grubbin' on the living room floor

They send you off to college to try to gain a little knowledge, but all you want to do is learn how to score.

Temptation -- Joyce Myrus

Watch Out!!!

Tiny pirates off the port bow!  Or is that starboard?

Wait... what?

Reader submission by J. Long
Uncle Walter cannot verify ownership of submissions, but he'll take your word for it.

Wicked Loving Lies -- Rosemary Rogers

Between her snood and his body-suit culottes, they would take the chain mail fashion scene by storm!

 

"Body-suit culottes" is a phrase I never again want to utter, let alone see.

If he's the Black Knight, does that make her Blue Heaven?  Given how impressive it is that her dress is staying up (friction?), maybe there is something supernatural at play.

Blue Heaven, Black Knight -- Shannon Drake

Her pussy came with claws... and allergies

When he wasn't sneezing into his neck hanky, he spent his time sculpting the hairballs into little-bitty horses.

Dangerous -- Amanda Quick