You can't get much more traditional than this: Fabio! Now, some readers have complained that Caption Contests cause... performance anxiety. So we're giving you an easier one this time. Fabio practically writes himself! Send us your best ideas (a header and something for one or both of the covers) and you'll get some Uncle Walter stuff! Peer pressure alert: Cool kids love Uncle Walter -- and if you don't, you're not cool. Do it!
Enter as many times as you'd like. Submit anything you want, clean or dirty or anywhere in between. Use any source or reference that catches your fancy or just use your imagination. Anything that makes Uncle Walter and The Wife laugh out loud, smack their respective foreheads, or groan is a winner. Email us, post your submissions at our forum, or leave them in our comments section!
The Magic of You -- Johanna Lindsey
Just one comment - not contest entry - but man he has one impressive package! Those pants leave NOTHING to the imagination!
Posted by: Deanatroi | 07/15/2010 at 11:24 PM
He got confused about which head to use the enlargement contraption on.
Posted by: redplanet | 07/16/2010 at 01:30 AM
My upper half is 70% larger than my lower half, in all ways but one, ma'am.
Posted by: redplanet | 07/16/2010 at 01:34 AM
This one smells a bit off. Throw 'er back!
Posted by: redplanet | 07/16/2010 at 01:36 AM
Does he... actually have... camel-toe? It looks like his testes are being bisected by those pants. Must. Look. Away.
Posted by: Matt's Sis | 07/16/2010 at 04:39 AM
Holy Be-Jesus! He does have camel toe.
Posted by: Cheshire-Cat | 07/16/2010 at 08:02 AM
Dammit the ship is sinking!
I knew having a giant captain's wheel was a bad idea!
"Oh Camel-Toe, I mean Fabio - don't worry I can be used as a flotation device. Just ride my leg...
Posted by: Cheshire-Cat | 07/16/2010 at 08:04 AM
Caption: I'll be saved by the buoyancy of Ego.
Fabs: The ship is sinking, I'll hold you and smell your hair until it's done!
Her: Look at my sexy leg too... I'll be fine, I can just float to safety on your big honkin' nose.
Fabs: Big... Nose?
Her: You heard me, why else would I let you hold me and look at my leg?
Posted by: jtlitch | 07/16/2010 at 11:02 AM
Caption: I always love an eager missy.
Haven't even got my pants peeled off and she's got her face ready for the teabagging. Or would you prefer to snorkle?
Posted by: Karla | 07/16/2010 at 02:00 PM
For some reason, Love/Hate doing "Spinning Wheel" popped to mind.
Must be that huge wheel in teh background that one of them just might be tied to.
Posted by: Matt | 07/19/2010 at 08:04 PM
Hubby just looked at the pic this morning. He didn't see the appendage above the bisected balls. Am I the only one?
OK.
That's it, flash some leg.
A rescue boat will be here quickly.
Posted by: Deanatroi | 07/20/2010 at 12:19 AM
The pants are bisectual?
Posted by: Matt | 07/21/2010 at 04:05 PM
Pants of Bisecting +9 against anatomy.
Crotch Grip of Falsetto +7 againts manly voice.
Posted by: Matt | 07/22/2010 at 07:16 PM
... I can't believe they're not buttered.
Posted by: Matt's Sis | 07/23/2010 at 03:27 AM
"Butterball, not Buttered Balls!"
Posted by: Matt | 07/23/2010 at 06:21 PM
Man on horseback rides down sandy beach, comes to a bust of Fabio sticking out of the Caption This sands.
"You Maniacs! You Blew it up! Damn you! Damn you to hell!"
It would seem that sis and I kill Caption This threads.
Posted by: Matt | 07/28/2010 at 06:49 PM
It was a sailors tale about how The Fabio would land upon a sinking ship and suck the brain out of the hapless women onboard before flying off on the win d from his fabulous hair.
Oh look, there he is now, uh.. honey?
Posted by: Matt | 08/03/2010 at 11:45 AM
FACTOIDS ACCORDING TO FABIO
Listen honey, we both know that I have better hair, a darker tan, bigger boobs, shapelier thighs and kick-ass boots BUT if we close our eyes I'll imagine that you dont walk with a gimp on account of your unequal gams and you can imagine that I have a pair of testicles
Posted by: VAMVILIS | 08/14/2010 at 02:44 PM
*Fabio, singing*
"Doncha wish your girlfriend was HOT like me? Doncha?"
Posted by: Matt | 08/20/2010 at 08:31 PM
And now, my dear, to treat you to the kind of goose that doesn't break your nose.
Posted by: grayroz | 02/29/2012 at 06:36 PM
Fabio and the Mysterious Case of Cameltoe.
Posted by: Erin Spock | 06/17/2016 at 07:23 PM