Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

More powerful than the Arch Duke of 11:53

Given the size of that strap, he must have one happening man purse.

That grass is so blue I'm looking for 20 Naked Pentecostals in a Cadillac.

The Prince of Midnight -- Laura Kinsale

We're going to hell for this one

It was a Baptism of Desire -- in the name of the father... and the son... and incestuous polygamy being legal in some states.

Montana Angel -- Kathleen Harrington

All she wore was a smile, a dimple, and his plaid

Sexy enough, but not exactly practical for outdoor winter fornication.

The Pursuit -- Johanna Lindsey

The necrophiliac's bride had rotted, so he found another

Oh, wait, never mind. That's just Helena Bonham Carter.

To Love Again -- Bertrice Small

We really need a caption! Hurry before it's too late!

Seriously, we haven't gotten many submissions this time.  Are you guys just not interested?  Personally we think it's a pretty bad cover and it could use some mocking.  We've got some Uncle Walter stuff just waiting to be mailed out to our next winner.  We need some more ideas!  Talk about his weird, bulgy body; or maybe his other bulge in those tights; his gold armband; her body suit; how ugly she is...  Something!  Anything!  A little blurb for the top, something more in depth for the bottom, and you get some free stuff!  We know you can do it.  We have faith.

Enter as many times as you'd like.  Submit anything you want, clean or dirty or anywhere in between.  Use any source or reference that catches your fancy or just use your imagination.  Anything that makes Uncle Walter and The Wife laugh out loud, smack their respective foreheads, or groan is a winner.  Email us, post your submissions at our forum, or leave them in our comments section!  Contest ends on July 1, 2010.

Ascendant Sun -- Catherine Asaro

Black velvet with that slow southern style; The music's like a heatwave

...which equals one hell of a yeast infection -- especially in a bayou... swamp... jungle... whatever.

Rebel -- Heather Graham

She was just doing it to make Pat jealous

Shipoopi indeed!

Caroline and the Raider -- Linda Lael Miller

The lovers, the dreamers and me

Threesome with the frog?  No problem.  Who's who, though?

Rainbows and Love Songs -- Catherine Sellers

What a beautiful day for fishing that old Hawaiian way

Be sure to wear a raincoat.  Because when they say that everyone loves the hookie lau, they mean everyone.

Brides of Durango: Jenny -- Bobbi Smith

His latest crop was growing nicely

This one will be ready for plucking in a day or two.

Firebrand -- Kathy Lynn Emerson