Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers: December 2009

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December 2009

12/26/2009

After they found her heart, they could look for her knee

It fled because it was allergic to flowers.

Exiled Heart -- Susan Tanner

Posted at 09:28 PM in Dislocated Members, Flat Chested, Frolicking, Gardening, Shirtless, Side Boob, Smell, Thigh | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBack (0)

Don't mind him, he's just a little hoarse

If they find out you've seen this, your life will be worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory.

Devotion -- Katherine Sutcliffe

Posted at 09:12 PM in Animal Husbandry, Danger, Dislocated Members, Film/Television, Frolicking, Moob, Mullet, Musicals, Separation Anxiety, Shirtless, Thigh | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

12/25/2009

Idle hands are the devil's playthings -- and he uses them to knit

Satan's dress is, of course, evil. And eats you alive.

The Prince Kidnaps a Bride -- Christina Dodd

Posted at 09:05 PM in Clothing, Creepy, Danger, Dislocated Members, Film/Television, Flat Chested, Frolicking, Mullet, Separation Anxiety, Shirtless, Supernatural | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

No fair! I want a horsey ride, too!

Moooom! She's not sharing!

The Outlaw Heart -- Vivian Knight-Jenkins

Posted at 08:45 PM in Animal Husbandry, Bucking Bronco, Dislocated Members, Flat Chested, Mullet, Reluctance, Shirtless, Thigh | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

They sure do start 'em young in Texas

Once the tax deductions got older, the luster started to tarnish. So he married them off. To each other. Polyamory is alive and well.

The Inherited Twins -- Cathy Gillen Thacker

Posted at 02:00 AM in Bastards, Bucking Bronco, Creepy, Frolicking, Incest, Separation Anxiety, Weddings, Weird | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Daddy's little tax deductions

Just throw a boob in there once in a while and they're relatively happy. Hose 'em off when they get messy. Luckily they came before the new year. He was looking forward to spending the money on booze.

Daddy's Little Darlings -- Tina Leonard

Posted at 01:55 AM in Bastards, Bowel Movements, Food and Drink, Separation Anxiety, Suckling, Weird | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

12/23/2009

Someone's been watching a bit too much Basic Instinct

I have a degree in psychology, it goes with the turf... Games are fun.

Either she's about to pull out an icepick or he's about to get a dutch oven. One way or another, he's in trouble.

The Perfect Wife -- Victoria Alexander

Posted at 07:19 PM in Bowel Movements, Danger, Death, Dr. Feelgood, Film/Television, Naked, Shirtless, Side Boob, Thigh | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

She could bend down and touch her toes. Backwards.

This is only bad because it's not me on the cover.

Time Remembered -- Elizabeth Crane

Posted at 07:19 PM in Clothing, Dislocated Members, Flat Chested, Future, Naked, Shirtless | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

12/22/2009

Calgon was trying desperately to take her away

Those are some of the biggest moobs this side of Fabio.

All About Love -- Stephanie Laurens

Posted at 11:42 PM in Dislocated Members, Flat Chested, Frolicking, Moob, Mullet, Separation Anxiety, Shirtless, Side Boob, Thigh | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)

Quasimodo has a thing for femurs

Very nice. Sexy even.

This isn't sexy. Humpback is humping her enormous thigh. And she's about to collapse under the weight of her dress.

A Duke of her Own -- Eloisa James

Posted at 11:36 PM in Clothing, Dislocated Members, Film/Television, Flat Chested, Henchmen, Musicals, Shirtless, Thigh | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

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