Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Now where did that sword go?

I could have sworn she'd put it in there just a second ago.  What?  Wrong hole?

Wyndfell -- Lynda Trent

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He always got paranoid after smoking crawdads

Luckily she was there to protect him from that big, mean, scary flamingo.

(Or crane or egret or whatever the hell it is.)

They Bayou Fox -- Helene Sinclair

Speaking of Leisure Suits... Snakeskin anyone?

Did they HAVE snakeskin leisure suits in the medieval period?  And why would someone wear a smock over it?

The Love Knot -- Sue Deobold

The invitation said to dress like it was the '70s

Unfortunately they meant the 1870s.  He felt a bit awkward in his mustard yellow and brown leisure suit.

Silver Mistress -- Carla Simpson

No, honey, really! I can't control it!

For once, Henry DeTamble was rather happy to go.  The woman wasn't Clare, and he wasn't too keen on having to explain the baby.  "Uhm, it happened before I met you! Yeah! That's it!"

Velvet Night -- Jo Goodman

For God's sake, would you just let me lead?!

The other Vikings will make fun of me!

My Warrior's Heart -- Betina Krahn

Taking candy from a baby? That's for chumps.

Real men just steal the BABY.  By the way, those feet make an interesting image from a distance.

Security Blanket -- Delores Fossen

Vini Vidi Vici... Good taste

The Outside Cover.  David Bowie will protect her!  His chain mail will protect him.  Except for his chest.  Looks are much more important than safety.

 

The Inside Cover.  Wow.  That's, like, the worst haircut ever.  All conquerors wore cut-off jean shorts, dontcha know.  And cavorted in what looks like a reusable Trader Joe's bag.

Gentle Conqueror -- Mary Ellen Gronau

Just another victim of Bring Your Daughter to War Day

M-16 in one hand, Barbie in the other.

Fallen Hero -- Catherine George

Army Holds Annual 'Bring Your Daughter To War' Day