Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

She'd saved him. Fine. She'd married him. Fine.

But when she broke the curse these weren't the children she had in mind.

It was a sad day when the pianist was crushed to death...

 

Just another victim of the Tango de La Muerte.

All they were waiting on was the maternity test

He was sure he was the father.  But damned if he'd go through with the wedding if she wasn't the mother.

They sure do start 'em young in Texas

Once the tax deductions got older, the luster started to tarnish.  So he married them off.  To each other.  Polyamory is alive and well.

The Satyr smooshed her sternum with his stolen smooch

Look, we know that you can see the horse's head.  But stop for just a second and look at it from a glance -- and tell us that it doesn't look like it's HIS body.  You know it does.  Just admit it and move on.

Oh, and she looks dead.  Insert "Last Dance with Mary Jane" comment here.

Tighty-whities need a correction

Even he is trying to help her!  She should have gone with a thong.

If he's not careful with that candle he'll have flaming loins in truth

Not bad, but we do wonder about the horse...

Given the size of that bulge, she should *not* look that bored.

It couldn't have been THAT unexpected

You know that she's a cowgirl because she's wearing mom-jeans, which seem to be the clothing of choice in women's western wear.  At what point do they cease being pants and start to become overalls?

What you get when a Ken doll and Patrick Warburton reproduce

The plastic look is nice, but it's nothing without the butt chin.

Look what I had hidden under my tux...

But don't worry.  They'll know what to do.  They're "The Baby Experts" so it's a good thing that one showed up.  The baby himself looks as if he's got something on his mind, and he's letting you know it, yes you.  And the man? The baby's feet look like his package, which is ironic given the crotch hold that he's got on the kid.  Something tells me, though, that she's a lot happier about this than she's letting on.  But it's the bolo tie that sells it all.