Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Pencil skirts are a staple of fashion and a must-have in every closet.

Not only are they sleek and gorgeous, but they offer a beautiful, curvy look to any body. They are perfect for day or night and can be paired with almost any blouse or jacket.

The Gentleman's Quest -- Deborah Simmons

I wanna be a Kilted Scotsman! Wear knee socks and not bathe often!

Blood and guts and... updrafts... and giant swords... and the whole famine thing... shit.

This idea sounded a lot better in theory than in practice.

The Ranger -- Monica McCarty

Little Bear didn't want to go back into the cupboard, so Omri set him free.

The world, however, was a harsh place. The eagle thought Little Bear succulent and that the bones had a nice crunch.

Eagle -- Elaine Barbieri

"He will take what is his..."

Like his bowstring! He really needed to get that back.

Highland Outlaw -- Monica McCarty

It was a bit of a surprise on their wedding night.

My, what big hands you have. My, what a broad chest you have. My, what a large Adam's apple you have. My, what small... breasts?... you have. My, what a large... um... Oh.

The Wrong Kind of Wife -- Roberta Leigh

Should have signed a Prenup.

Though what she's going to do with an ill-fitting chain mail shirt and half a pair of tights, I don't know...

What She Wants -- Lynsay Sands

Those giraffes you sold me, they won't mate. They just walk around, eating, and not mating. You sold me... queer giraffes.

I want my money back.

The Champion -- Carla Capshaw

Sign #1 that your mullet's gone too far: It's bigger than your girlfriend's head.

Sign number two? It's bigger than your own head!

Seriously, though, we're in awe of that mullet. It's so big and curly and round and... mullet-y. She could cut it for him. With her cheekbones.

The Viking Takes a Knight -- Sandra Hill

Uncle Walter's special Two Year Anniversary "Create Your Own Cover" Edition...

Here's your manly, red-haired and shirtless highlander, complete with raised sword:

Aaaaand..... GO!

Happy 2 Year Anniversary to Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers!

P.S. We actually met this man. Not only did he have 1 tooth, but he swallowed the sword. You may take that as you wish.

Vestibulumophobia - The fear that a bottomless man will emerge from a gong wielding an axe

Vestibulumlorumophobia - The fear that a man with a tiny crotch flap will emerge from a gong wielding an axe.

Patruuswalterophobia - Fear that Uncle Walter will feature your book on Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers.

Cheyenne Song -- Georgina Gentry