Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

That's rigor mortis, not a loving embrace

How can we tell? Well, the broken neck for one!

Forever His -- Colleen Faulkner

T'was a few weeks after Christmas, so an Amazon deal, on a book about "Santa" and his gay-loving ordeal.

What's going on is more than a mystery, but who can say "no" to such an illustrated treasury?
Dressed in a thong and a top cut down to there, he has cantaloupe moobs and nipple to spare.

He's promptly anal raped by some horny ice-phalluses. His ass wound up chapped with some interesting callouses!

He rounded off the night with sex on a bar. Santa's adventures have sure taken him far!

Finally done with his yearly "deliveries," Santa's newfound incontinence will go down in history!

When he finally returned to his home at the North Pole, he exclaimed "Happy Christmas! I'm gonna go ice my asshole!"

Kid Christmas Rides Again -- Eric Arvin

At the author's request, Uncle Walter has removed a portion of the artwork (and the accompanying horrible "poetry" that The Wife scribed!), so as to leave some to the imagination. If you wanna see more, buy the book! It's worth it!

I don't want anybody else, when I think about you...

I touch my elf.

Soul Fire -- R.F. Long

All my ladies if you feel it, gone and do it, do it!

Whip your hair!

Reader submission by vamvilis, a guest from The Keep
Uncle Walter cannot verify ownership of submissions, but he'll take your word for it.

Dark as Wine -- Morgana de Winter

Is this really the most appropriate place to do this? Really, guys?

It's not a sleeping bag, you know.

Great. Now look what you've done.

THE SNOWMAN IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE BABYSITTER!

The Christmas Countess -- Adrienne Basso

P.S. That is a photo of The Girl taken when she was ~5 1/2 weeks old.

Looks like someone needs a refresher course

Let's go over it one more time...


This is out, not in. Out... In... Out... In...

By Jove! I think he's got it!

The Viscount in Her Bedroom -- Gayle Callen

In the not too distant future, somewhere in time and space...

"Please be careful, this will be boring."

Her Private Bodyguard -- Gayle Wilson

You call those cheap implants boobs?

Those aren't boobs! They're lies!

Maxwell's Fall -- Tielle St. Clare

Well, performance issues...

Not uncommon, one out of five...

His Only Desire -- Adrianne Lee

My breasts are full of love and life. My hips are round and well apart.

You will therefore assume the position of a supplicant before this throne.

Love Only Once -- Johanna Lindsey