Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Oh yeah... barely legal... in 17 years

That's it baby, suckle at Daddy's teat.

The Man of the Mist captures the Boy of the Bayou

Soon he would drag his prey back to the foggy bog and devour it.

Some men have a flavor saver... he has a flavor buffet

Too bad he doesn't have a living woman to savor.

Doc Hopper has branched out

 
 

APBs have been issued for thick, hairy, muscular legs, last seen on mulleted, moobed men.

Got a whale of a tale to tell you lads

And yet another life is lost as Fabio crawls from the depths of the ocean to drag away a woman by her ponytail.
 

Sometimes you feel like a nut... and well, my Snickers is always satisfying

That's it... just a little lower.  Yeah, that's a candy bar in my pocket.  Trust me.

Head fruit: lice brunch

 
"Waiter, there's a hair in my wine!"

An all you can eat buffet of man-meat

Now comes with special orange sauce.

His manroot DID taste a bit funny

 

Whatever it was made out of, it sure didn't taste right.

Would you PLEASE wait until I finish?

I'll get to your womanflesh soon enough! Now stop licking my cheek!