Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

I won first prize for my Pot Pie!

What? Too much opossum?

Some Like It Hotter -- Roz Denny

A scourge of midgets is roaming the forest, seeking out narcoleptic women to molest...

They have few natural weaknesses. But, if caught unawares, they may be frightened off by threatening to report them to something called "The Lollipop Guild".

Come Love a Stranger -- Kathleen E. Woodiwiss

We can't do this, not in front of the spinach!

Any other vegetable is fine, but the spinach is so innocent and virginal!

Turn Me On -- Kristin Hardy

Random Wolf Wednesday strikes again.... Wait... Is there a wolf?

Oh, I see. She's having a litter!

Beloved Wolf -- Kasey Michaels

I see you've managed to get your shirt ripped again.

Honestly I don't know why I buy you those things. I might as well let you go out topless!

Christmas Miracles -- Colby Core

You know anything about this?

Look. See that red spot over there? That wasn't there this morning. I checked.

Northern Exposure -- Jayne Rylon Mari Carr

Sweetheart, we can't keep him.

What are we gonna tell people? We found him out in a field?

Or under Big Ben?

His Miracle Baby -- Kate Walker

And if you can't be with the one you love, honey...

Adequately tolerate the one you're with.

And make sure she knows it.

Second-Best Wife -- Rebecca Winters

No, Rex, no. Bad dog.

You broke the third wall... again!

Home to Harmony -- Dawn Atkins

Heh. He said "duty."

Double the children, double the excrement, and double the diaper duty.

Daddy's Double Duty -- Stella Bagwell