Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

I got married to the widow next door, She's been married 2 times before, And every one was a George

She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam. I'm her 3rd old man, I'm George, George the 3rd I am!

The Third George -- Jean Plaidy/Victoria Holt

Of course she's willing. When you're this deformed, you'll take what you can get!

There is not a single part on her body that is properly proportioned. Not to mention that her neck is broken.

The Lady Most Willing -- Julia Quinn, Eloisa James, Connie Brockway

He would only have her body. He would never have her heart, her mind, or her soul.

He could totally respect that.

I Do -- Mimi Riser

A cheap, white knock off

With their hit single, "Wiggle Your Swing Thing."

Herbs and Apples -- Helen Hooven Santmyer

Unless your name's "Mary" you've somehow skipped a step here

Or you're sorely lacking in proper sex education. 'Cause that's just not how it works.

Have Baby, Need Beau -- Rita Heron

She's up to something nefarious!

She makes $5.25 an hour. She can't afford to be nefarious.

Mommy in Training -- Shelley Galloway

Just give my patented Xtend-o-Neck a moment to adjust

Any minute, now.

If you're impatient you can kiss my nose. It will be within reach in about 30 seconds.

Master of Mahia -- Gloria Bevan

Cheater's Excuse #42...

Retrograde amnesia!

Forgotten Vows...? -- Maggie Shayne

When there's no more room in the refrigerator...

The Devil roams the Earth (on horseback).

Devil On Horseback -- Elizabeth Graham

Déjà vu cubed

Uncle Walter and The Wife are at the beach for the weekend and we've decided that instead of working our butts off to post something new and exciting for the next few nights, we'd just repost something. Specifically, something that made us laugh. Hope you enjoy this blast from the past!

You're so veiny, I bet you think this post is about you

Nice enough, plain... rather shiny.

That's one heck of a fur muff. Why is the area to the side of the sword completely blank? Why is he so veiny and Carrot Top-bulgy? Oh, forget it: dear lord, WHY THE HELL IS HE NAKED???

Until Forever -- Johanna Lindsey

Originally published on Saturday, October 3, 2009