Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Golden dreams attract lightning

Let's hope they're well grounded.

If you measure a man by the size of his boat...

...dinghy and dinky have a lot in common.

Look, I failed Webelos, what do you expect?

There's only one kind of tent I know how to pitch, and it ain't exactly one you can sleep in.

Even Neutrogena can't help this dry, itchy, irritated skin...

Maybe he ought to try one of those overnight glove things.

The new adventures of the Sunburnt Sheikh

And his crispy wench.

Maidens roasting on an open fire

Earwax sniffing up my nose.

When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do is...

...get stupid tribal tattoos to make me feel cool.  And think of you.

Desert sex...

That would really chafe.

It's a trust building exercise!

He closes his eyes, she tells him how to steer the boat.  Fire and hilarity ensues.

I don't wanna sound gay or nothin'...

...but do you think you could wear this little mustache and let me call you Adolph?