Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Niche market: Bobble-headed sex dolls

Niche of the niche: partially limbless bobble-headed sex dolls. They sold all of two. To the same guy.

Literotica -- Lori Selke

It was a-- it was a little, glowing, hot naked lady. With nipples.

I’m not supposed to laugh, right? Right. Okay. Sure.

Soulful Sex -- Diana Laurence

DMCA Cease and Desist Notice

Uncle Walter has received his first Cease and Desist Notice! It's a red-banner day!

While we can certainly understand that seeing one's hard work featured on a site such as ours may be upsetting or even hurtful, the truth is that our site is still running after 3 years because there is *nothing illegal* about what we do. Copyright protection is a wonderful thing, and everyone who creates a unique product should have their work respected. Copyright law recognizes, however, that there are times and places where permission is not necessary for a third person to legally use certain types of works in certain ways. Uncle Walter uses all of the books featured here in a 100% completely legal manner. Uncle Walter also strives to maintain a friendly/amicable relationship with all of the authors/artists whose works make their way onto his blogs. Up until now, we feel like we've succeeded. However, we just received this email today. Being that all of our wonderful readers are a part of the Uncle Walter family, we figured that we'd share.

From: Talley Kaleko
Date: January 15, 2013, 11:22:07 AM EST
To: unclewalter@unclewaltersrants.com
Subject: DMCA Cease and Desist Notice

Pursuant to 17 USC 512(c)(3)(A), this communication serves as a statement that:

(1). I am the exclusive rights holder for the following title: Kid Christmas Rides Again by Eric Arvin and the art work contained within the Work;

(2). These exclusive rights are being violated by material available upon your site at the following URL http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2013/01/kid-christmas-rides-again-eric-arvin.html

(3) I have a good faith belief that the use of this material in such a fashion is not authorized by the copyright holder, the copyright holder's agent, or the law;

(4) Under penalty of perjury in a United States court of law, I state that the information contained in this notification is accurate, and that I am authorized to act on the behalf of the exclusive rights holder for the material in question;

(5) I may be contacted by the following methods: Dreamspinner Press 5032 Capital Circle SW Ste 2 PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL, USA.

I hereby request that you remove or disable access to this material as it appears on your service in as expedient a fashion as possible. Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,
Talley Kaleko, Esquire
In House Counsel for Dreamspinner Press

And hey, why not be privvy to our response? Uncle Walter's a generous soul, he is...

Ms. Kaleko,

We are in receipt of your Cease and Desist Notice regarding our use of content from "Kid Christmas Rides Again" by Eric Arvin (to be referred to herein as "Kid Christmas").

While we can certainly understand and respect your dedication to preventing unauthorized/illegal use of your client's copyrighted work, we are certain that you must also, therefor, be aware of specific exemptions allowed by "Fair Use" under section 107, title 17 of the US Code. Specifically the exemptions for Parody, Commentary, and Criticism.

"Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers" functions as a parody site providing commentary and criticism to art work accompanying published novels that fall within the "romance" or "erotic" genre. We legally obtained a copy of Kid Christmas via Amazon.com on January 12, 2013. In the book are a total of 8 illustrations, including the cover (which is easily available for viewing on Amazon.com and other sites). Please note that Kid Christmas is not a graphic novel, but rather a written text with accompanying illustrations. As such, the eight illustrations are not the entirety of the work, and we must then consider how they fit in relation to the "substantiality" of the work as a whole.

On January 15, 2013 we were contacted via comment by Mr. Arvin requesting that we remove all but the cover art from our site. As a representative of Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers, I promptly responded to Mr. Arvin's concerns. As I indicated to him at the time, we believe that we are within our parody, commentary, and criticism rights to use the content as it was posted. However, since copyright law and Fair Use exemptions are judged on a case-by-case basis, and the percentage/amount of content allowed by law to be utilized in that manner is up for individual consideration, as well as out of deference to Mr. Arvin's concerns, we removed all but three graphics (the cover +2 interior illustrations) from our site.

When considering how much is an acceptable amount of a work to be used within the confines of Fair Use, we feel that the two illustrations used are a) not the "entirety" or a "substantial" amount of the product, nor b) "the heart of the work," thus the 2 additional illustrations used cannot be considered by a reasonable person to be a violation of the copyrighted work. Additionally, Mr. Arvin's response, that his concern was "with the posting of ALL the images," would appear to have been addressed.

Under the circumstances, given both the nature of our site, the copyrighted content used, the concerns by the author that have since been addressed, and reasonable interpretation of the law, we feel that we cannot comply with your request at this time. If you are subsequently able to show that Kid Christmas is a graphic novel and that each illustration is, in itself, a "substantial" portion of the work, we will comply with your request and remove the content from our site. If you are subsequently able to show that illustrations depicting "Santa" being anally penetrated by two ice-phalluses, and "Santa" engaging in public anal intercourse on a bar are representative of the "heart" of Kid Christmas, we will comply with your request and remove the content from our site.

Per your preferred method of contact, a letter to this effect will be mailed to you at the address provided. Please do not hesitate to contact me with any additional concerns that you may have.

"The Wife"
Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers/Rotten Romance

So, there you have it, Dear Readers. The perils of being Uncle Walter, and the joys of being his wife.

We'll keep you posted on how this plays out!

-- The Wife

I don't want anybody else, when I think about you...

I touch my elf.

Soul Fire -- R.F. Long

Victor's Secret: Intimate Fashions for Men

Big, white, full coverage briefs are fashionable, y/y?

Going Against Orders -- Carol Lynne

Your new playmate is loose and somewhere in the castle grounds.

Well really... That's no way to behave on your first day out. But uhm, since you're such exceptional beauty, I'm prepared to forgive you.

Masochist -- Nadia Aidan

Barring that, an Epilady Trio

Though I'd settle for a better graphic designer.

Because (especially in thumbnail format) it totally looks like I have a mustache and partial goatee.

All I Want ... Is You -- Curtis Alexander Hamilton

I went to a number of women's groups and said "Can you help us find folks?"

And they brought us whole binders full of women.

I recognized that if you're going to "have" women in the work force that sometimes you need to be more... flexible.

Compromising Positions -- Tawny Taylor

Gay? Why, yes, I think I might be!

After all, I have been craving a gargantuan bucket of penises lately!

What We Deserve -- Kerry Freeman

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a wrinkled dick...

Long, long ago (not that long, damnit!) in a state far away, The Wife spent a lot of time at a local hospital, usually doing her college classwork. Her mom was a nurse, you see, and, being the wonderful person and "dutiful" daughter that she was, TW would often give her mom a ride home.

One fateful day a new patient had been admitted to the floor and was driving TW's mother insane (or, rather, more insane). Since they both eventually wanted to get out of there, TW volunteered to go speak to the patient so that her mother could finish making her reports.

The man was old. No, really: OLD. Like, over 100. And he talked a LOT. One of the many things he said was that he had fallen and hurt his hip. He asked if she wanted to see it. TW, being the friendly sort, said "sure!" And the patient, the really, really old patient, eagerly moved to show her.

This action would have life-long consequences. In that, when he lifted the blanket to show her, he managed to pull up the edge of his adult diaper, too. There is no adequate way to describe what The Wife saw that day. He was probably perfectly normal looking for a 100+ year old man. But to a 17 year old girl, it was, to put it mildly, a bit traumatic.

And this cover? This cover is exactly how that man revealed himself. Less the wrinkly, grey-haired mass of genitals. But still...

Sevin -- Elizabeth Amber