Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

You know anything about this?

Look. See that red spot over there? That wasn't there this morning. I checked.

Northern Exposure -- Jayne Rylon Mari Carr

So what have we got. People being snatched from their lives and dropped into an endless shifting maze that looks like a 1980s hotel with bad dreams in the bedrooms.

Well apart from everything else that's just rude.

 Wicked Pleasures -- Tori Carrington

Brought to you by the Chemo Kama Sutra!

The latest title in the "Melanoma Romance" series.

Incubus -- Janet Elizabeth Jones

Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink...

I think there's something watching us.

From The Mists of Wolf Creek -- Rebecca Brandewyne

P.S. Yeah, we know we did a "Blink" caption before, but we love that Dr. Who episode.

His new sponsor from Astraphobics Anonymous should be there any minute.

Hopefully she was bringing a large flashlight. And a big, fluffy teddy bear!

Wanted: Bodyguard -- Carla Cassidy

An Underground Epidemic: America's Feral Street Horses

This country is experiencing an explosion in the number of horses, turned feral, that are living and dying on the streets. Abandoned after having their sugar cube addictions easily fed, they are now forced to hunt down and attack any riders they encounter, desperate to get a fix. They are knocked out of the saddle and the horses sniff violently around their pockets looking for the sweet snacks. Woe be to the riders and domesticated horses that can't provide the high they need! Worse yet is when the horses aren't lucky enough to score that night, left to suffer withdrawals or go to Aspartame Clinics to break their habits. The long-term costs associated with sugar cube overdose can be staggering, as the price of Insulin climbs.

Avenging Angel -- Alice Sharpe

Dadatouille

Denny is a young boy from the countryside who arrives in town only to find out that his mad surgical skills will go to waste because 4 1/2 year olds aren't allowed to be doctors. He makes an unusual alliance with a "special" surgeon, Harry, who only graduated because his parents purchased a department for the medical school. When Denny discovers that he can control Harry's movements by pulling on random chunks of his hair, the bloody adventures begin. Despite Harry's family's skepticism, and the inconvenience of carrying a small person on his shoulders, Harry finds he is now a successful and respected surgeon, though he is often questioned about the odd bulges under his scrubs. More awkward is when Harry begins dating the labor and delivery nurse, Suzette, and it becomes clear that Denny has yet to learn the facts of life -- and he's certainly not going to put Harry's hand there.

Raising Harry -- Victoria Leigh

It's an affliction that affects one in 240 million...

The shame is so great that third base is harder to reach than it is for the phobos-grunt probe to reach Mars.

Please donate to your local "never-nude" syndrome support center and never let someone live in cut-off denim shorts again.

The Seductive Imposter -- Janet Chapman 

Dr. Banner, your work is unparalleled and I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control...

And turn into an enormous green rage monster.

Are... um... all of your changes... proportional?

One Tough Avenger -- Diane Pershing

Though quite intent in his pursuit, he has a merry tune to toot

He knows Rohypnol will move the job along!

Champagne Spring -- Margaret Rome