Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

He would only have her body. He would never have her heart, her mind, or her soul.

He could totally respect that.

I Do -- Mimi Riser

More like "Arrival Imminent"

How, exactly, did they miss that?

Ah, yes.

Because the possibility of sex is waaaay more important than the destruction of the planet and/or the end of the human race as we know it.

Halfway to Heaven -- Susan Wiggs

What could possibly go wrong?

Everyone knows drilling platforms are foolproof.

Well, okay, mostly foolproof.

Okay, somewhat foolproof.

...

We got nothin'.

Claws of a Wildcat -- Sue Peters

When there's no more room in the refrigerator...

The Devil roams the Earth (on horseback).

Devil On Horseback -- Elizabeth Graham

Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

Don't get snippy about it. I may not be the sanest guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Devil May Care -- Melanie George

Déjà vu

Uncle Walter and The Wife are at the beach for the weekend and we've decided that instead of working our butts off to post something new and exciting for the next few nights, we'd just repost something. Specifically, something that made us laugh. Hope you enjoy this blast from the past!

Wedding fever? More like wedding deadly virus. It would look like he were a vampire, trying to bite her, except that she already looks dead. But she's a very tan corpse. Either that or she's fleeing from him. Which is completely possible given how he looks. Which is just this side of zombie.

Wedding Fever -- Lee Wilkinson

Originally posted on Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dude, they took my dad away. They even shot one of his fellow hares. And now they're after me!

Do you know anything about Easter? What is the connection between Jesus and rabbits and colored eggs?

A Baby by Easter -- Lois Richer

If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell.

A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

A Family Likeness -- Margot Dalton

Zombie Defense Strategy #15

Overly dramatic knee to the groin. Probably would have been more effective if she didn't have wispy trails of material to grab on to and he didn't have a Truckasaurus hand. If she can break away she'll have a chance, though. He won't be able to chase very well with only one leg.

Enchantress -- Constance O'Banyon

Oh no! He took off the headphones!

A blond goes to get her hair cut while wearing a pair of headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but the blond protests that she'll die without them. The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, the blond falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones. A few minutes later, the blond collapses, dead, on the floor. Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to his ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out."

(Apologies for the blond joke. I remembered it and, after seeing what's around her neck, I couldn't resist -- The Wife)

Enchant the Heavens -- Kathleen Morgan