Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

We can't do this, not in front of the spinach!

Any other vegetable is fine, but the spinach is so innocent and virginal!

Turn Me On -- Kristin Hardy

Heh. He said "duty."

Double the children, double the excrement, and double the diaper duty.

Daddy's Double Duty -- Stella Bagwell

Little Bear didn't want to go back into the cupboard, so Omri set him free.

The world, however, was a harsh place. The eagle thought Little Bear succulent and that the bones had a nice crunch.

Eagle -- Elaine Barbieri

What is he? About a 20 pounder? In decent shape. Not too many miles on him...

You know, I'll be taking a loss on this, but you seem like a nice couple. I suppose I could take him off your hands for say... $150. But you have to throw in a couple of diapers. And one of those pine tree shaped air fresheners.

Bargaining For Baby -- Robyn Grady

So, there I was... knee-deep in Charlie guts...

...causing me to throw a murderous temper tantrum so monumentally destructive no amount of time-out could clean the blood from my hands, unless it involved a 4-by-4 concrete cell and a bucket in which to defecate.

Soldier Caged -- Rebecca York

Oooo! I didn't know we had any chocol...

...

That's not chocolate, is it?

Her Sexiest Surprise -- Dawn Atkins

Excusez-moi, Qui a pété?

That was you? O.M.G. I thought that was the gangrenous, rotten carcass of a vole.

Where the South Wind Blows -- Anne Hampson

The Thin Brown Line

What happens in UPS stays in UPS.

Turbulent Covenant -- Jessica Steele

It doesn't matter how well you changed her diaper. Excessive celebration is against the rules.

That's an automatic 15 yard penalty. Now take 45 steps back and let's do this again. And this time, don't spike the baby.

Quarterback Daddy -- Linda Barrett

Sometimes practicality is more important than creativity.

When you have to do the laundry and the dishes, walk the dogs and wash the kids, you're better off doing each chore one at a time.

Otherwise douchebags will laugh at you.

McTavish and Twins -- Trisha David